


Wish that the times in dreams were real

by Someone_end_me



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Awesome Morgana, Balinor Lives, Balinor perspective, Balinor stays, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin has a sis, Morgana doesn't go evil, weird persepctive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9485567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Someone_end_me/pseuds/Someone_end_me
Summary: Balinor escaped into a peaceful life with his wife and children but it was ruined over and over. Can the One King to Rule Them All really change that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a weird perspective from Balinors points of veiw.

****

It was cold.

                It was a cold day when his family was rounded up and thrown into cages in front of him. When his hands were bound with biting rope and the order was decreed. All beings of magic and capable of magic were to be brought to Camelot and killed, burned at the stake for crimes they never committed.

                It was hot during their journey, the distance between The White Mountains and the City of Camelot was long, mainly steep and dangerous. Every so often a wyvern would pass overhead and the soldiers would force him or his father to send it off. Their days were spent sweating and starving, when one of his cousins died on the way to the pyre they were buried without ceremony, unable to return their magic to land and cursed to live on the mortal plane for all eternity. It sickened him how little care they were given, how horribly they were treated.

                The day he watched his father die it was snowing, perhaps one final blessing from the Gods. Snow was sacred to his father and although he burned he did so with a smile. The day that he was to die wouldn’t come for another few nights. He was housed with his aunts and uncles and cousins in a small cell with no windows and bars thicker and sturdier than any other cell.

                The day before he was to be murdered a man appeared by the name of Gaius, he offered him and his relatives freedom. He could only take a few and so he bide his older aunts and uncles goodbye and fled. The passages were narrow, deathly silent, and reeked of sewage. He hadn’t seen the sun in weeks so when he busted through the door he cried. He was finally free.

                Gaius had said he would travel to Cenred’s lands in a small village called Ealdor. He didn’t want to leave his home; magic flowed so strongly under the earth in Camelot and the closer he got to the borders the weaker he felt. Soon enough he couldn’t feel any magic except what was gifted to him at his birth. His rations were meager and eventually ran out; he bartered with elves and nymphs for shares of their feast. He gave up so many precious items. The only things he kept were the simple jewel necklace his mother had shoved in his hand when he was carted away and his father’s wedding ring.

-

-

                Ealdor was small and quite, a perfect place to stay out of sight. Hunith was a right snark, filled to the brim with fire and stubborn determination. She bossed him around throughout the day, pushed him to do chores that weren’t his, and poked fun at him whenever she got the chance. When he got injured chopping wood or fixing the hut or any other task she told him to do she had a surprising gentleness to her, her fingers were steady and sure of their work.

                Over the weeks he noticed how calloused her hands were from working the fields her father left her. Having refused to marry, she worked day in and day out to maintain the farm; every bit of spare food went to others less fortunate. He saw how the side comments and sharp criticisms were a barrier, a way to protect herself from prying eyes and wandering hands. Her hair was browner than sun-warmed earth, restrained tightly when she worked but at night when the stars were dazzling and the fire warm, her hair was wavy and loose. It fell freely down her shoulders to her lower back, she would have him braid it and put flowers in it. Her bluer than sky eyes would catch the firelight when she smiled and tear him apart at the seams.

                He started to realize he was in love with her and when he got brave enough to tell her she had kissed him hard and quick, her hands covered in horse shit and her face streaked with dirt. She hadn’t blushed, only smirked and shoved the hoe in his hands and sauntered calmly to river to wash her hands and face. Leaving him dumbstruck and blushing like a fool, the old woman next door chortling and warning him about getting caught slacking off.

                That night she kissed him softer and longer after braiding his ever growing hair into several small braids, laughing as she moved closer to the fire. He truly did lover her, and he hoped she returned the affection.

-

-

It turns out Hunith did love him back and very soon she was pregnant. Only a few weeks along and the village was buzzing over the new baby. Hunith grumbled and complained about another mouth to feed, all of the things that would be broken when the child learned magic, the chaos he and the baby would make all over town, but she cradled her barely swollen belly so lovingly that no one doubted she couldn’t wait to see the village destroyed.

                Hunith had been overcome with a bout of morning sickness when the letter came. Addressed to him from King Uther, the rotten bastard who killed his family. It was a letter of peace, Uther wished to meet him at the borders to discuss summoning The Great Dragon to Camelot so he could make peace and atone for his actions against magic folk. The letter was so cleverly written that he went, despite Hunith’s claims against it. The monster already knew where he lived so why not oblige a man seeking out peace.

                The journey to the border was shorter than he remembered it to be but it felt longer at the same time, knowing he was away from his beloved and his child was only soothed with the knowledge that he would return soon enough. He saw Uther and his men at the border like he had said but the closer he got the more unsettled he became. A horrible foreboding had settled in his gut, something that felt horribly similar to the warning he had gotten a few days before the raids began.

                Uther was all smiles while they spoke but the kindness of his tone never reached his eyes. The gut-wrenching fear of something wrong had long since settled like a boulder in the pit of his stomach and the small bit of Camelot’s magic he could feel was pushing him away, threading warning through his blood. When the man requested he bring The Great Dragon to the City of Camelot he refused; met with swords and anger he fought. He left the border with the blood of five soldiers on his hands and a hefty scar on his side as payment for his journey.

-

-

It was a boy, a beautiful boy who was so strong in the magic, stronger than himself. Hunith had agreed to name the child after the madman from legends but she couldn’t help but gag at the name itself. They agreed on Merlin, the English form of the name, easier to pronounce and easier to stomach according to Hunith.

                The birth, though celebrated, was hard on both of them and painful on Hunith. Granted an easier birth than Williams due to the aid of his magic and the magic in his son, it was still a painful one. All births were expected to be but rations were low that winter and medicine even rarer, all used up during the sweep of cold sweats that had taken over most of the men and children. He had offered his prized necklace to Agatha not a day after Merlin’s birth but the payment was turned away, she claimed that for a child of Bedivere no task was too small, certainly not healing his wife.

                Merlin was such a quite child most days that when he cried or screamed the whole town would be shaken out of their beds. But his laughter, dear Gods his laughter, was most likely the most beautiful thing to his ears. The first time Merlin laughed Hunith had cried so hard her eyes were red for two days. But in spite of all the wonderful things the baby had given the two of them he was a demon. Hunith’s hair was in a messy bun done so high on her head he was scared it would rip her scalp off. He had poked fun at her for having it up like it was but when she handed Merlin to him to hold he learned quickly why she did it. Merlin pulled hair, hard, and cried like a hellion when forced to let go. He wore his hair up since that and it seemed Hunith would never let it go, just like Merlin never let go.

                When Merlin turned a year old his magic started to blossom and he couldn’t be more proud. The boy broke every vase Hunith had. When Merlin moved his toys without touching them he squealed or when he actually flew the spoon into his mouth his son would laugh so much he almost choked a few times. Merlin was messy in everything he did; he played in mud, spilled the water of his baths, dropped his cups, and let his food dribble out of his mouth just to watch it hit the table…or his mother’s shoulder. He was so amused and amazed by everything, nothing could cause him more joy than just being.

                His hair grew in thick and curly, darker than Hunith’s but not as black as his. Merlin seemed to just have piled sheep’s wool on his head and call it hair. He loved to run his fingers through the locks while Merlin slept if only to watch it consume his hand in its depth.

                William and he were fast friends, their names being the first words either said, Lunete claimed that the only way William would bathe is if Merlin was there with him. Whenever they saw each other they would both begin screaming in joy and whenever taken apart horrendous screaming fits would consume the entire village for an hour at least. William had been a small, chubby thing when born and happier than the sun itself. He took after his father so much, Peredur finding no fault in almost anything except bad mead. Merlin was a thin baby, not unhealthy in the slightest just tall for a baby.

                “I don’t doubt that he’ll grow taller than you, tiny man.” Gods how he hated that nickname, Hunith wasn’t much taller than him but she delighted in the fact that she was, even if by a breath. It haunted him since the first day he saw her.

                He didn’t doubt it either, though. Merlin was growing so quickly, not necessarily in body but most certainly in mind. Though Merlin couldn’t say much else besides mama, pa, and Will, he could point to the animals in his picture books when you said their names. And his magic was growing and maturing faster than any warlock he had ever seen, it worried him just a touch. If his magic grew too strong when he was so young it could hurt him. He made little jewels for his baby boy to help him maintain control of his magic, although Merlin couldn’t exactly appreciate the gifts beyond the fact that they were shiny.

-

-

When Merlin was but two and a half months old he summoned fire, Hunith never needed to use a match again. Merlin was all too happy to help his mother by lighting candles even when she didn’t need them lit. Hunith always scooped Merlin into her arms whenever he did such a thing, thanking him and telling him how good was. Merlin soaked up the praise that came from both him and Hunith like a rag.

                On Merlin’s third birthday he froze the water at the lake, granted it was easier for him since it was winter at the time, but he still did it. Merlin and William ran all the way to him and Hunith exclaiming all throughout the village that he had frozen the lake. Everyone was proud and he was the proudest. That winter Hunith sat Merlin down and told him he was going to have a sibling.

                “This is the best birthday ever!” Merlin would have run through the town shouting again if he hadn’t caught and scooped him into his arms, both laughing and giggling.

                Hunith’s pregnancy with their second child was smoother and easier than Merlin’s was, he suspected this was because the child would be born without the gift of magic. Hunith became so happy she danced around the fields and sang while she worked in spite of being four months pregnant. That night she complained of the soreness of her feet and held Merlin to tell him stories while he rubbed at her ankles.

-

-

Enaid almost didn’t cry. It took the midwife, Agatha, and himself to convince her little body to heave in a breath. They named her life in Welsh, for she almost didn’t have one. Merlin had stayed with Lunete, Peredur, and William that night, and with good reason. Enaid had been a horrendous child the give birth to, she had refused to be born properly and so the midwife and Agatha had to remove her surgically; he tried so hard to dull the pain but Hunith almost fainted twice and when the baby was finally born she had.

                Enaid was small and weak, everyone in the village fussed over her. The old woman next door made her blanket after blanket from the softest sheep wool in the entire town. Agatha stayed for Enaid’s first few months to make sure the child grew healthy and strong. Their small family was lucky Enaid was born in the spring Agatha had said to them one night if she had been born in winter her life would be much harder.

                Thanks to Agatha and the medicines she collected, Peredur’s trips to the City of Camelot to collect the medicine from Gaius, and his own relentless healing Enaid lived to her first birthday. She laughed and giggled as she shoved cake onto her entire face, unsure of how to truly eat it. Merlin had offered to wash her but both were covered in bits of cake and other food items. Hunith had hell washing them that night.

                Enaid grew stronger with each day since her first birthday. It took her longer than most to begin walking but she was steadier than most babies as well. Her hair came in almost fire red, Hunith claiming that it was the color of her own mothers’ hair. Enaid’s hair was curlier than Merlin’s was when he was a baby. Hunith claimed again that her father had the curliest hair in the entire kingdom. If it wasn’t for the brown eyes and plump nose some would claim that he and Hunith had stolen the child from another family.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It turns out that Uther hadn’t known where he lived. A manhunt all over Cenreds lands had taken place for five years before a boy from a neighboring village had run to them telling him that Uther’s men had been spotted three villages north and were heading toward Ealdor. He knew he had to leave to protect Ealdor and his family. He had placed his mother’s necklace on Enaid’s neck and put his father’s wedding ring on a leather band, tying it loosely around Merlin’s neck. He gave Hunith a scarf, a faded green head scarf and she cried. It had been her mothers, lost forever when she was taken during a bandit raid. Bandits that were no longer living. He kissed his love and his babies and cried the entire journey to the Balor forest to live in the caves on the edge of Camelot.

                The journey was much too long and bleak. He had to avoid Uther’s men and watch as peaceful druid villages were raided and burned. His heart was black by the time he reached the caves, the horrors of his past mixing with the tragedy he witnessed on his way. Before he left he taught Merlin a spell that would let them talk. Words would be burned onto the walls of his new home and onto paper at his true home. No doubt Merlin would bother Hunith day in and day out on how to spell certain words. He received letters in rough English, reports of what Enaid did that day or how Merlin’s magic grew.

                When the man hunts died down after a year and a half of hiding and waiting he quickly made the journey back to Ealdor. He would stay as long as he could, weeks or months or maybe even years. As long as the Gods allowed him time with his family.

                Enaids hair had grown out to her shoulders, curled tightly in ribbons, the color of the sunrise. Merlin’s hair had become straighter, slightly waved but straight like his. That first night home with Hunith curled in his arms and the babes asleep she told him how much Merlin resembled him and how Enaid’s smile was so much like his. It pained him to see his beloved like this; he wanted to give her something to remind her that he wasn’t gone forever, that he would always return.

                A week later they married. It was a small wedding, with simple gifts and simple clothes but Hunith had never looked more beautiful, her hair down and a crown of wild flowers on her head. A simple linen dress whiter than snow that flowed like silk. The wedding bands were enchanted gold, a gift from Agatha, and whenever either of them got lonely or missed the comfort of the others voice a message would play. Their face would appear and the loneliness would be banished for a short while as they counted the days till they could meet again.

-

-

The next time he saw his family was seven years past the wedding. Merlin was fourteen and was so tall already. Almost at his shoulder and Enaid was small. Ten years old and barely at his waist. Merlin carried her around on his shoulders any time he wasn’t doing chores. He noticed the glances Merlin and William threw at each other, how Merlin’s smile would change when he was alone with William. He expected that to happen somehow.

                Merlin was so happy to have someone to learn magic from again, he had advanced wonderfully from the hand written books he created when Merlin was only a baby but actually having someone there to show him was key. Merlin’s eyes flashed gold when he did magic, reminiscent of his sister Enid. When he got older and if the ban on magic was lifted when a new king arose his eyes would stay golden, the blue becoming only flecks. But only when it was safe for him to advertise magic. Magic sensed when its host was in danger Merlin guessed one sunny afternoon and he was right.

                Enaid had no magic and seemed just fine with that. She could best almost any boy in town when it came to any sport, even if they were bigger and stronger. She was clever beyond what was right, she knew how to worm her way out of trouble or talk someone into doing something. She was beyond smart. Her hair had grown to her lower back; Merlin braided it and Hunith would put flowers in it, the curls so tight they could hold anything.

-

-

He had two happy years with his family. He hoped the years would continue forever, for the man hunts to stop and leave him in peace. He could sense his son had some great destiny, could sense the danger it would put him. He refused to let him travel very far past the lake he froze when he was three and always had to be accompanied by someone from the village. Typically it was either William, who seemed almost a bit too happy when they had time alone together or Enaid who would take up a wooden sword Peredur carved her and would drag Merlin about the village.

                Hunith had grown softer around the edges the longer she was a mother and the longer she was married to him. The barriers of protection she had built up to keep untrustworthy men away began to fall the longer he stayed near. Her eyes grew softer and more loving; smile lines appearing by her eyes and added a certain glow to them. Hunith had cut her hair to her shoulder with his help and kept it wrapped in her mother's head scarf, only letting it down on very hot summer afternoons or during winter in the hut that had become a home again.

                He noticed the cuts in the wooden wall with Merlin's height written in magic and Enaids carved sloppily next to it. He saw how worn the cups and bowls had become and the chairs were worn down, all except for his. It made him feel guilty, to know he was away for so long, and when he shared this guilt with Hunith all she did was take his hand and smile at him. Her eyes crinkled and she woke up Enaid and Merlin demanding they give their father a hug and:

                “Tell him how much you love him. Come on, I shouldn’t have to remind you.” Enaid had wrapped herself around his legs and Merlin settled into his side, arms wrapped around his chest. They told him how much they loved him, how much they had missed him, and how happy they were to have him back even if he had to leave.

                “You will always have a home here, silly tiny man. It will always be warm and welcoming and pleasant.” Hunith placed herself gently at his other side and kissed his cheek, she really had grown softer in motherhood.

-

-

He was blinded, so very blinded. He had caught Merlin and William with their pants around their ankles and Merlin had been backed up against a tree, William at his neck. Although slightly horrifying to see his son in such a position it reminded him if when he was younger. When he would chase boys and girls of his home in The White Mountains to try and get them in his bed.

                When William confronted him nervously,  Merlin hiding behind his back he simply sighed.

                “Merlin, does magic discriminate between boy and girl?” Merlin shook his head meekly. “Does magic care whether you love a man or a woman or a beast?” Merlin shrugged, he didn’t know. “Has your magic left you since you began seeing William in a more romantic light?”

                “No, father.” Merlin moved to stand next to William, shifting closer to his full height and becoming more confident.

                “Then does it care about who you love?”

                “No, no it does not.” Merlin stood at his full height now. He had a happy, confident gleam in his eyes.

                “Then why would I, a creature of magic, have any right to judge you? Why would any being alive or dead have any right to judge you for who you love if the strongest force on Earth doesn’t?” Merlin beamed happiness and William sagged in relief. Merlin ran up tp hug him, whispering a quiet thank you in his ear and dragged William away.

                Returning to the hut he put his head on his wife's shoulder. “Hunith I have been scared for life.” She hummed and continued making dinner. “Hunith comfort me.”

                “All you did was see William and Merlin fornicating, there’s nothing wrong with that. I seem to remember you telling me of all the boys you managed to coerce into you bed chambers.” There a sharp edge to her voice challenging him to say anything bad about their son.

                “Yes, and there is nothing wrong with that but that doesn’t mean I actively want to see my only son with his pants around his ankles and William attacking his neck like it’s a well-cooked rabbit.” Hunith snorted and put the spoon in her hands down. Turning around she looped her hands around his neck and kissed him softly.

                “And we won’t be returning the favor.” He grumbled as she showed him the door to tend to the fields so she could continue her cooking. “Perhaps tomorrow while Peredur is teaching Enaid and William how to fight, he always enjoys seeing her knock that boy down a few pegs.” He grinned and cackled as he went about pulling weeds and harvesting crops.

-

-

There were rumors that the manhunts were beginning again but nowhere near Ealdor. Still, he had to leave in a few months to fill out a request from Agatha, who was now dubbed Agatha the immortal seeing how she stopped aging. Merlin was to go to the City of Camelot, now just called Camelot, and train under Gaius. The training he was fine with but the traveling to Camelot was not in the least bit fine. His son was to work under the nose of the man who killed his grandfather, family, and people? It was an outrage!

                It took many nights of heated arguing for Hunith to convince him this was the best course of action. Their son would be safe under Gaius, their son knew how to conceal his magic because she had made him practice, their son needed to get away from William and Enaid and Ealdor.

                Peredur had died in battle, a battle needlessly started by Cenrids greed and it tore William and Enaid apart. Enaid, despite being a hot head, was controlled in her grief. She knew about the cycle of the afterlife, knew where warriors and wizards and people went when they died. She knew that Peredur was in peace. She knew all of this because of how she was raised and by who. William knew none of this, he believed every word Enaid and Merlin and Hunith and himself told him but he was never consoled. You couldn’t be around him anymore.

                He had broken things off with Merlin, saying his mother was too sick and his grief and sadness to great to be with him or anywhere near him. Merlin had agreed, had decided to let William grieve for his dying mother and dead father how he pleased but was still heart broken.

                That fact, the fact that Merlin needed something new, a fresh start to give his moral a boost had made him agree to let Merlin go. And so they left on the same day, Merlin to Camelot and him to wherever it was Agatha told him to go.


	3. Chapter 3

From what he could glean from the letters Merlin sent through magic he enjoyed Camelot. He enjoyed learning about non-magical medicinal herbs and brews from Gaius and this Guinevere girl seemed to resemble Hunith in her kind ways and humorous comments. Prince Arthur was an asshole whom Merlin found attractive for some reason. He had ended up saving his life from Mary but she never was his favorite.

                He made sure to tell him that some wizards and witches he encounters will be so consumed with hate and grief that they will lose sight of all else. Merlin might even encounter those who truly do have impure intentions, an evil intent they carried before the purge began. Any death he caused of to the wizards and witches who had these intents or were consumed by these feeling he should not feel shame for, sadness and some regret were healthy and encouraged, but all he should do is light a candle in their honor.

                The letters from Merlin were one of the only things keeping him from returning to Ealdor to gather some forces to bring his son back home. The letters that assured him that despite The Great Dragon, having somehow become enprisoned, and giving his son his destiny he was fine. That despite being poisoned by a mortaeus flower and surviving thanks to Arthur’s idiotic bravery and kindness, he was okay. That despite killing a Griffon, rescuing a druid boy, the death of William, Enaid going missing, and Arthur nearly dying if not for Merlin, he was doing just dandy. His boy was full of contradictions and dangerous compartmentalizing.

                He should have talked more about Williams death. All he said was that Ealdor and Hunith had been threatened by Bandits. Arthur, Guinevere, and Morgana had all left to help and train the village in fighting. Merlin was forced to use magic to save the town, William had taken an arrow for Arthur, and had kept his secret safe by saying that the warlock was him before he died. He should know more. He should know how the death of his sons ex-lover and best friend affected Merlin but all he got was an I’m fine, father. It wasn’t good enough.

-

-

                The next letter to arrive was more about the calm days and almost erotic descriptions of Arthur and memories of Lancelot, who he apparently had a casual romp with the night before he became a knight. A good three pages were taken up by the witch hunter incident and Merlins feeling about it. The next three were about his new friend Freya and how she was so beautiful and too good and the only woman he ever felt a semblance of non-familial love towards though he can’t discern what kind of love it was. He makes sure to remind Merlin that none are truly gone and she is at peace now that she has finally been given the chance to rest. It does wonders to console him Merlin tells in the next letter.

                Merlin tells him about how Enaid is still missing but a girl with fire red hair had been seen causing havoc for bandits and slave traders in the forests of Cenreds lands while heading in the direction of Ealdor. Both of them believe it to be her. She’s too strong and cunning to be held captive for long.

                Merlin his latest letter discussing the ways Arthur gets under his skin and a few other things that have crossed his mind.

                _Father, I write to you today because I wish for your opinion. Arthur is one of the most annoying beings I have ever meet and I’ve been told by The Great Dragon that I am to protect him, that he is the other half of my coin. And I’ll admit in this past year and a half he has become someone precious to me but he has also become my main cause for anxiety.He is much too handsome for it to not be some sort of witchcraft that’s fallen upon my eyes. His hair is too blonde that it’s almost the sun and his eyes are much too blue. It’s all too confusing for me at this time with all the trouble following him._

_I admit that to most from Ealdor that Lancelot would be gorgeous, much more so than  Arthur. And he is in many ways, he is much kinder and respectful but he is in love with Gwen. And she is in love with both him and Morgana so we have been confiding in each other about our love mishaps and such._

_Speaking of Morgana, she has discovered my magic. She has promised to keep it a secret and I often find myself going to her when I wish to practice spells and such in relative peace. She has confided in me about her premonition dreams and I’m trying to help her but you would be more suited to the task. Would it be alright if I try to teach her the spell to speak with you or procure a quill that would allow her to speak with you?_

_Moving back to the previous subject, Arthur is causing me endless grief and finds it funny to boss me around. He is still sweet in a way, though. I wish badly to see you, though._

He tells Merlin to teach Morgana the spell and have her ask him as many questions as she likes, he would be happy to help someone dear to his son. On the account of his love troubles, he remembers feeling the same about his mother and that he should watch and see how it develops. Guinevere should also focus on the love that is still present in her life, it will release some of the weight off her shoulders. And he wishes to see him as well, his little mission for Agatha is taking much too long.

-

-

Merlin was in his cave, he could feel his energy, the magic signature that he seared into his brain. It was so full of life and love and just pure, unrivaled, unchained magic calmly floating around him constantly.

                “Father!” Merlin ran to him and he held him so tight in his arms, his son had grown so much. Hunith had been right, Merlin was so tall. “Father it is so good to see you. You look like a hermit.” Merlin laughed and there were tears at the corners of his eyes.

                “It’s good to see you too son. What brings you here, though? I thought you said you could not visit?” Merlin looked pained and guilty.

                “Camelot is being attacked by The Great Dragon. I set him free and now the city burns. Father, I made a deal and I was so happy to help him but I didn’t want this. I didn’t want the city to burn.” He was crying, his beautiful son shedding tears for that filth of a place.

                “Don’t cry Merlin. Bring Arthur, Gaius, Guinevere, and Morgana here. Kilgharrah will not harm us here.” Merlin looked at him shocked and confused and angry. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

                “Father, do you want Camelot to fall and all those innocent people to die?”

                “No, I want Camelot to fall and never rise again if not by the hands of someone tolerant of magic but the people, the innocent lives, I do not want them to be snuffed out. But it’s a price that must be paid, Uther must feel the pain we have.” Merlin stared at me again, he could tell his son was mad at him for he had the same signs of anger as Hunith. Smoldering eyes, a deep frown, and a brow so furrowed it almost consumed their eyes.

                “We’ll talk about this later. Arthur is sick and needs help, I’m not practiced enough in healing spells to do it and I can’t risk him finding out I have magic.”

                They brought the prince to his cave and cared for him while Merlin stared him down, burning holes into him through his clothes and into the skin of his back. He fixed them food and they talked about the issue of Camelot. Merlin made him see it his way. He brought up good points and made it clear that he also could care less if Uther died but now was not the time and there were too many casualties that weren’t necessary. The people that would die in the fire and destruction caused by Kilgharrah would not rest in peace but would be tormented forever and cursed to walk the earth.

                “You’re too much like your mother, always able to argue her point so well against my mine.”

                “Considering how you were gone for so long how could I become anything but like her.” Merlin huffed and crossed his arms but one look at his face seemed to make him deflate. “Father, I’m sorry. I can’t say that I don’t mean it but I love you and understand the reasons why you had to leave. I just feel so much guilt over those who died that I’m taking it out on you.”

                “Thank you. I know I haven’t bee the best and certainly not what you and Enaid deserve but did those years we had together negate some of the years we were apart?” Merlin nodded and mumbled a soft always when he hugged him.

                The soft groans of Merlin's name from Arthur drew his son away from him and the night passed slowly. He taught Merlin some healing spells, using Arthur as a test subject of course, and he excelled at all of them, even the most difficult.

                “Those will become easier to use and less draining when you have the added bonus of the magic that runs beneath Camelot but you are using magic as if you are someone who had that boost.” Merlin beamed and practiced one more time just for good measure. They both fell asleep later in the night, Merlin drifting away first while he muttered nonsense in the language of the ancient ones.

-

-

 

                This was bad. He had followed after them so that he could meet with Agatha and give her the little rock she had wanted so badly. When they met up all had been well, he and Merlin collected firewood and talked about the ways magic helps the lands in Camelot recover so quickly and be so fertile. When they had returned he discussed strategy with Arthur, asking about what Kilgharrah had done thus far. They all rested well that night but morning, the morning is when things went wrong. They had run onto some of Cenreds knights when they were traveling back to Camelot and they recognized Arthur and Merlin.

                They had attacked so swiftly and it was such a shock that he didn’t have time to use magic before one of the bastards aimed their sword at his son, his precious child. He had taken the blow and collapsed in Merlin's arms. He could see the tears crawling at the edges of Merlin’s eyes.

                “Please no, please. I can save you.” Merlin had tears running freely down his cheeks now. He knew his son couldn’t risk that.

                “Listen to me. When you face the dragon, remember: be strong. A dragon’s heart is on the right side, not it’s left.” He would be crying too if he wasn’t focusing on telling his son all the things he wants Merlin to know.

                “I can’t do it alone.” He could barely feel the tears that were falling onto his face. He was barely aware of Arthur taking out the rest of knights and dropping to his knees on his other side.

                “Camelot is doomed, Merlin he won’t survive this wound,” Merlin yelled at him to shut up as more tears fell from his eyes. He was growing so tired, he had to tell Merlin all he thought of him but he was oh so weak.

                “Listen to me! Oh, my son. I’ve seen enough in you to know that you will make me proud.” His world was dimming and all he could see was Hunith in his son's sweet blue eyes.

                “No. Father, no.” He was just closing his eyes when he felt a warmth on his wound. “Tui gratia Iovis gratia sit cures.” It was the most powerful healing spell he had taught to merlin a few nights ago.

                “Son, Merlin, don’t.” His voice was so weak but he could begin to feel his wound heal as Merlin continued the spell. He glanced at Arthur and saw the confusion and betrayal that stormed in the princes eyes.

                The wound healed and Merlin collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily and sweating. He had used too much energy when he healed him. Arthur hesitated before rushing to his side. He watched as emotions warred on Arthurs' face while he checked over his son.

                “This…that..what happened there!” Merlin had calmed down and was sleeping at this point.

                “Shut up, you’ll wake him. He needs rest right now.” Arthur fell onto his back and stared at the sky.

                “This can’t be happening, my best friend did not just use magic, I’m hallucinating, that’s what’s happening.” He scoffed and woke Merlin up deciding that rest could wait when he had a panicking prince on his hands and an angry dragon to deal with. “This is a dream, none of this is real.”

                “It’s real you idiot. Get over it.” He side was aching but he would be fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur had been silent during part of their journey back to Camelot, it seemed as though the prince was thinking about the recent events and analyzing them. He distracted Merlin with teaching him the language of the Dragon Lords; Merlin always enjoyed learning about new magic and so it was a good distraction as any.

                “Merlin,” At the mention of his name Merlin looked up at Arthur, the guilt and worry clear as day on his face, “how many times have you used magic to save me?”

                “Probably about twenty-four times or so now, sire.” Merlin bowed his head in shamed and it boiled his blood. His son should never be ashamed of his gift; he doubted that was what he was truly ashamed of but he shouldn’t be ashamed at all.

                “When we return to Camelot I want you to leave immediately, I never want to see your face again but you mean enough to me that I don’t want to see you hung.” Merlin nodded and looked back at the ground.

                “Of course, sire.”  It enraged him how this arrogant prick talked to his son, how could he banish him just for saving his own father especially after hearing how many times Merlin saved his sorry arse.

                “Well aren’t you just a right old prick. Get the stick your father shoved up your arse out before I rip it out” He believe he had somehow summoned Hunith when she younger in this moment. “It’s really such a shame that you let your father's hatred cloud your mind  when the only magical being that has ever been around you has only ever saved your life.”

                “Magic is evil, that much I know. It killed my mother and almost killed me!” Merlin shuffled his feet and tried to move away from the confrontation between him and his ‘master.’

                “Magic is neutral in nature, it is the being that uses it that gives it a purpose. My son was taught a million times over how Uther destroyed the lives of every magical being and continues to ruin them to this day and yet he never once harmed Uther or you. That must count for something now shouldn’t it?” Arthur huffed at him but he could see the fire in his eyes slowly being doused.

                “That’s why I’m not going to have him hung.” Merlin curled in on himself and he could see the tears at the edge of his son's eyes again. He didn’t want to see his son cry again because of their argument. So he took a breath and continued calmly, channeling the Hunith of today and not the one that had hide behind walls of steel and sarcasm.

                “Look inside your heart and think. Think with your own mind, not the one that your father tainted. From what I’ve heard from Merlin is that you are a smart man with a kind soul and you do have the ability to go against your father. You have your own mind so use it. But do it on the way because while we talk more of your people die.”

                “Which just proves my point even more.”

                “Put yourself in Kilgharrah’s mind. Your family and kin were murdered, your only living friend was betrayed by the man that killed his kin and the man, that killed your family and friends as well, betrayed you and imprisoned you. Then began a manhunt for your only remaining friend and his family, you never learned whether any of them survived or not until his son meets you in your prison. You still don’t know if your only friend is alive or dead for his son doesn’t know you know him. When you’re freed you can only feel vengeance, the need to avenge your kin. You do that the only way you know how. Kilgharrah is a giant dragon, he can’t exactly go into the castle and demand an apology, the only vengeance he knows is that of blood and death and destruction because that is what your father knew and that is what your father taught him.” Arthur had stopped completely and stared at him, Merlin had stopped and stared at him. He just walked on to Camelot, determined to stop his friend and hopefully console Kilgharrah.

-

-

The battle in Camelot had not been much of a battle, Merlin was so struck with grief and anger that he hadn’t needed to do a thing. Merlin had called the dragon to a clearing and had told him to leave for he had shown Kilgharrah mercy and he was to do the same for others.

                He met him on the edge of clearing with Arthur, who stood stark still and seemed to be entranced by Merlin, and he hugged his son so close to his chest Merlin swore after he let go, betting he would have bruises in the morning.

                “I did it! Father, I did it!” Merlin bounced around a bit forgetting Arthur was there in his exuberance and adrenaline.

                “Of course, you did, you are one of the last Dragon Lords. Deep within yourself, you found the voice that you and Kilgharrah share, for your soul and his are brothers. When you speak to him as kin, he must obey your will. I told you this on the way here.” He huffed at his son and smiled. He turned to Arthur who still looked enchanted by the reveal of how powerful his manservant was. He nudged the prince and shoved him toward his son. He decided that if, after that show, Arthur would say what he truly wanted and thought should happen to him and his son.

                “That was…absolutely idiotic and amazing, Merlin.” Arthur smiled and wrapped his arms around Merlin’s shoulders seeming as though he let go of his title and became just Arthur.

                “Thanks.” Merlin seemed to remember for Arthur though and removed himself from Arthur’s side. “I’ll leave with my father tomorrow morning, sire.” Arthur stared at him, seeming to become Prince Arthur again.

                “Yes, of course.” He watched his son come back to him with sadness just barely hidden behind a small smile. He wrapped his arms around his son, Arthur was wrapped up tightly in Uther's world apparently. “Wait,” Arthur jogged up to them and paused in front of them seeming to hesitate, “will you need any help gathering your things?”

                “No. Thank you for the offer my lord.” Arthur cringed a bit at the cold, sarcastic reply. “We’ll be out of your hair in the morning.” Merlin grabbed his hand and dragged him off, putting on a brave face but really on the verge of tears. Looking back he saw Arthur watching them go with the saddest expression, like he was watching a part of his soul leave, and it reminded him of when he was forced to leave Merlin, Hunith, and Enaid.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh his poor Merlin, his son had to sneak him into Gaius’ quarters, then broke down crying into their arms. Now Merlin had to create a hider potion for him so that, if spotted by Uther, they wouldn’t behead him.

                “Oh my poor boy, make sure to write.” Gaius pulled Merlin into an embrace when he finished the potion. “And you, you stuffy old bat, make sure you put your two sense in as well.” Gaius clapped him on the back and pushed him toward the door. “Get out of here quick before I start to cry again.”

                Merlin laughed, it was small but still there, and he downed the potion and was led out of the room by his son. The walk down to the edge of the courtyard was quick, almost desperate despite his identity being hidden; Merlin no doubt wanting to avoid being spotted by Arthur. And yet he appeared almost as if he was also a sorcerer.

                “Merlin, Balinor… I just wanted to thank you for what you did for Camelot. And…and apologize that we have to part on such unfriendly terms.” Merlin nodded, moving past Arthur but he held him back. Giving his son a look and pushing him toward Arthur.

                “I’ll be over here when you need me.” He walked over to lean against a dingy hostel and watched his son and his son’s would be lover argue and fight, well argue and fight on Merlin’s part. It reminded him of the days he tried to court Hunith but her walls were too thick to break down or even crack.

                Merlin did not have those kind of walls, his were thick yes, but if pushed correctly would break and crack and crumble. The prince had somehow made his way on to his son’s heart and take apart all of Merlin’s well-built defenses.

                “Do you really feel that way,” he had slowly inched closer to monitor the discussion between his son and the disillusioned prince. “Do you really hate magic that much that none of the adventures we had together, all the good times, all of that doesn’t matter?”

                “I,” Arthur shuffled in spot looking caught between a rock and an angry warlock, “I don’t want you to leave. I care for you so much that it physically hurts my heart to watch you leave but I am scared. I’m scared that my father will find out. I’m terrified for you and your father and my own heart. I couldn’t stand to live if I had to watch you die.” Merlin stared at the prince, looking on the verge of tears.

                “When your father dies and you take the crown I will come back. You will take away the ban on magic and let my people live happily because I know you too well, I know that is what you want.” Arthur nodded and drew his son close and into a hug. “Make sure to visit if you can, you know where I live.” The prince nodded again and looked for the world like a small boy, scared and hopeful all in one.

                “I adore you Merlin, and I will wait with baited breath to see you again.” Merlin did cry at that admission, smiling and laughing and pulling Arthur closer than ever.

                “As will I, you clot pole.” Arthur smiled and kissed the top of his sons head, reluctant to pull away but needing to leave before he was noticed missing.


End file.
